How if you become a…And WHAT will you do?

We becomes slaves of “What Others Think” Creates inhibitions

Posted by psydetect on February 8, 2007

 I remember when I was first left home 10yrs ago I was painfully self -conscious, especially when eating in the dining room of a “ritzy” or in a high class hotel in Las Vegas. As I walked through the dining room I felt that every eye was upon me, judging me, critizing me or i feel that they are discriminating me(in which some peoples do it frequently, and most especially for those who live in a dream land). I was painfully conscious of every movement i make, motion, and act the way i walked, the way i sat down, my table manners and the way I ate my food. And all these actions seemed stiff and awkward. I asked my self : Why I am so ill at ease?  untill I realize the word “stop” and have a break to my over self-conscious act.

When you become too consciously about “what others think”; when you become too careful to consciously try to please other people; when you become too sensitive to the real or fancied disapproval of other people- then you have excessive negative feedback, inhibition and poor performance.

Whenever you constantly and consciously monitor your every act, word, or manner, again you become inhibited and self-conscious. You become too carefull to make a good impression, and in so doing choke off, restrain inhibit you creative self and end up making a rather poor impression.

You are also “unconsciously” becomes a slaves in some degree if we are so very inhibited and self-conscious. You’re become a prisoner to other people’s perceptions of you. You’re incarcerated by your need for other people’s acceptance. And you’re in prison and you don’t even know it. Being a slave don’t have choices to act freely in a very sponteneous ways, the fact is if you are too consciously aware you are also creating a string attach or a handcuff that makes you being a slave in your own way.

“The way to make good impression on other people is: Never act, or fail to act purely for consciously contrieved effect. Never “wonder” consciously what the other person is thinking of you, how he is judging you.”- Maxwell Maltz M.D  F.I.C.S.

The late Dr. Albert Edward Wiggam, famous educator, psychologist and lecturer, said that in his early years he was so painfully self-conscious he found it all but impossible to recite in school. He avoided other people, and could not talk to them without hanging his head. He constantly fought his self-consciousness and tried hard to overcome it, all to no avail. Then one day he got a new idea. His trouble was not “self-consciousness” at all. It was really excessive “others consciousness.” He was too painfully sensitive to what others might think of everthing he said or did, every move he made. This tied him up in knots -he could not think clearly , and he could think of nothing to say. He did not feel this way when alone with himself. When alone, he was perfectly calm and relaxed, at ease, poised, and he could think of lots of intrersting ideas and things to say. And he was perfectly aware of and at home with his self.

Then he stopped fighting and trying to conquer his “self-consciousness,” and instead concentrated on developing more self- consciousness: feeling, acting, behaving, thinking as he did when he was alone, without any regard to how some other person might feel about or judge him. This total disregard for the opinion and judgement of other people did not result in his becoming callous, arrogant, or entirely insensitive to others. There is no danger of entirely eradicating negative feedback, no matter how hard you may try. But this effort in the opposite direction did tone down his overly sensitive feedback mechanism. He got along better with other people, and went on to make his living counselling people and making public speeches to large groups, “without the slightest defree of self- consciousness.”


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